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Archive | January, 2016

Are Christian Men Ignoring Modesty?

 By Ryan Duncan

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Among men, there is a vile, evil practice used to establish physical dominance and social hierarchy. This horrible ritual always begins in adolescence, and can have devastating effects on a man’s long­term wellbeing. It’s called “shirts and skins” football. As a teenager, I loathed playing shirts and skins football because I would inevitably be told to join the “skins” team. I wasn’t what you’d call fat (‘doughy’ would probably be the more appropriate word), but given the fact that my teammates looked like heroes out of Greek mythology, I was pretty sure that crowd of girls on the sidelines wasn’t there to watch me. It’s funny how the thought of modesty never crossed our minds during these games. For a lot of guys this was their chance to flex, to strut, to show off those washboard abs and maybe wink at that cute sophomore in the crowd. Heaven knows, if I looked like I’d been carved from marble that’s what I would have done. So why then do men, specifically Christian men, get a pass at this kind of behavior while girls are accused of being immodest? Last week I wrote about how Jen Hatmaker was encouraging girls to be more fashion conscious, now I’d like to flip the script and focus on my Christian brothers. The truth is, when it comes to modesty, we guys get off way too easy. Amy R. Buckley of Relevant Magazine points this out in a recent article where she reflects on what Biblical humility actually looks like. She writes, “It’s easy to camp out on external appearances of women when discussing modesty. After all, the Bible makes some important points about women’s dress.

 

Paul’s instructions in 1 Timothy 2:9­10—the go­to passage on feminine modesty—discourages elaborate hairstyles, gold, pearls and expensive clothes drawing attention to self instead of God.” “As we covered in a previous article, these instructions fall smack in the middle of words to men and women about false teaching and angry disputing over ways the surrounding culture is creeping into the Ephesian church.” “The big idea prohibits any and all human practices, including fashion, getting in the way of worshiping God. We are responsible for ourselves and, to some degree, the impact our behavior has on others. Biblical modesty (kosmios)—meaning orderliness, moderation and appropriateness—applies to attitudes and behaviors of men and women.” As I said last week, “modesty is about more than what you wear, it’s about how you live”. The Bible commands us to “act justly, show mercy, and walk humbly with God.” (Micah 6:8), and for men, this means taking a hard look at the parts of our lives we always assumed were okay. Maybe we could stand to wear a thicker shirt, or spend less time showing off? Maybe instead of focusing on how fit (or doughy) we are physically, we should take the time to check ourselves spiritually? After all, as God once told the prophet Samuel, “…The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 What about you? Do you think Christian men could use more modesty?

NYT: At Christian Fashion Week, Modesty Is One Policy–Day of Prayer is Another Feb 15

By ALEXANDRA JACOBS/New York Times

Sign Up for Annual Day of Prayer for Fashion Industry February 15

ChristianFashion WeekTAMPA, Fla. — As Tom Ford presented his fall 2015 collection in the modern Sodom of Los Angeles, and Marc Jacobs tended his “garden in hell” in Gotham­Gomorrah, around 300 Christians were gathering here for a fashion extravaganza of their own. There were no buyers from Bergdorf Goodman, or celebrities moving in slow security phalanxes. But Jayson and Silva Emerian, a Presbyterian couple from Fresno, Calif., were among the spectators Feb. 20 at the Vault, a bank turned party space downtown. “I’m just here to support my wife,” said Mr. Emerian, a general contractor. Mrs. Emerian was gathering material for her blog, On My Shoebox. “She’s big on shoes,” Mr. Emerian explained. “Who isn’t?” said Mrs. Emerian, nudging him playfully beforChristianFashionWeeke turning serious. “I think fashion is so important because it really represents yourself — how you see yourself, how you want others to see you. I want to show the young girls in our church that you can be stylish and still have a strong faith.” Or, as Mr. Emerian said, “You don’t have to look like a slut.” The models who would come down the runway shortly thereafter, however, were hardly dressed like nuns. Though none of the 11 designers scheduled for the hour long presentation showed anything as outré as the utterly transparent dress Mr. Jacobs had offered, or Mr. Ford’s top cut to the solar plexus, there were plenty of skintight leggings, thigh­ grazing miniskirts and clingy T­shirts among the women, even as many of the men donned monastic hoods. Ah, well, as the old throw pillow goes, “The higher the heel, the closer to heaven.”

The issue of feminine modesty has bedeviled Christian Fashion Week, as it is known, though this year the runway show was confined to one evening. The rest is a series of parties, panels and prayer circles, founded three years ago by two other married couples: Jose Gomez, an entrepreneur who, among many other projects, helps churches amp up their Web presence; Mayra Gomez, a former model who once appeared on Janice Dickinson’s reality show and now runs TruModel, a mentoring program for young women; Tamy Lugo, a stylist; and Wil Lugo, a graphic designer. In their objective to remake the cold and cruel fashion world with love, sweet love, they summon to mind the Paul Mazursky movie “Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice,” minus the infidelity and wife­swapping. Mr. Gomez, who has a goatee and kindly manner, and is also an ordained minister, is the obvious leader of the group. The night before the fashion show, he huddled on a stiff modernist couch in the lobby of the Aloft hotel at a “V.I.P. Rendezvous” attended by models, stylists and audience members paying up to $50 for admission, and explained how his creation has evolved from a simple showcase for designers who happened to be Christian. Really quickly we found out how hard that was,” he said. “The designers that wear Christianity on their sleeve are not that good, and the ones that are really good don’t wear it on their sleeves.”

(Indeed, only one of this year’s designers, Jean Huni of London, had an overt religious reference in her brand, Messiah Couture, which offered gowns to rival Badgley Mischka’s. Another, Constance Franklin, with a trousseau­inspired collection that included highwaist red pants and a big white hat, said she had been inspired by the futuristic, geometric buildings she saw on trips to Abu Dhabi and Dubai.) The four then decided to challenge designers, secular ones as well, to make conservative clothes “for that modest, covered Christian woman,” Mr. Gomez said. “We’re not talking about Muslim Fashion Week.” (And yes, Virginia, there is such a thing.) “Just a little more conservative.” But policing hems and necklines proved “highly subjective and culturally relative,” as another Christian fashion blogger, Whitney Bauck of Unwrinkling, posted after the shows in 2014. Online critiques like this, some rather more fiery, drove the Gomezes and Lugos back to their Bibles. “What we found was that what we were promoting and advocating was very weakly enforced in Scripture,” Mr. Gomez said. “There’s not really a lot about covering up. It’s mostly about not acting gaudy.” Like Scripture itself, the gaudiness of conventional fashion is open to infinite interpretation. But curiously enough, both theological language and missionary zeal have been ringing through the high temples of retail lately, from Net­a­Porter’s Bless (Be the Best, etc.) to Zappos’s commandment­like set of 10 family core values. Christian Fashion Week’s organizers have produced their own abbreviation, CARE, which stands for contextual modesty (“there’s different things you wear at different times, and that’s absolutely O.K.,” as Mr. Gomez put it), affordability, responsible use of natural resources and ethical hiring and casting.

“Those things are much closer to the heart of God than cleavage is,” Mr. Gomez said firmly. Still, the organization has struggled to find sufficient funds; its leaders would like to attract a major Christian corporate sponsor, as Mercedes­Benz has been to fashion weeks in New York, London and other cities. “We probably don’t want a Chick­fil­A,” Mr. Gomez said, “but maybe a Forever 21.” (Or maybe not, given Forever 21’s repeated citations for workplace safety violations from the federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration.) In mid­December, forced to trim a marketing, venue and production budget of $30,000, Christian Fashion Week issued a dramatic pronouncement that this season would be its last. “But this is Christian Fashion Week,” Mr. Gomez said at Aloft with a practiced twinkle, “and so there could be a resurrection.” The coffers may not be overflowing, but there was contextual modesty in abundance the next afternoon at the Vault, where vendor tables bore pink and purple bottles of Sexiest Fantasies Body Mist, large containers of protein powder for bodybuilders, lacy lingerie and samples of a makeup line called Divine Image Cosmetics (“Get the Look of an Angel”).

AliyaModestyUpstairs, models were staring into the eternal glow of their smartphones, waiting to have their hair scraped into buns and braids and their faces painted. One, Edwich Desroches, 30, said Ms. Gomez had essentially saved her after a bad experience in Miami with a John Casablancas Career Center, the modeling school franchise with tenuous, at best, connections to the Elite founder for whom it is named. “I’ve been doing photo shoots, commercials — it’s been fun,” she said. “I’m more into empowering young girls. There’s a lot of young girls that don’t know their self­worth. They don’t have that confidence, not knowing that beauty is not outside, with the makeup and stuff. It starts from within.”

 In the hallway, Olivia Pollard, 19, a nursing student modeling as a hobby and about to embark on her maiden voyage down the runway, was slurping a slushy pink drink through a straw so as not to disturb her lipstick. “I’m really nervous, but I’m excited,” she said. “I like the Christian background, because I’m a Christian — nondenominational. It’s nice that you have designers that cover you up.” Zoe Thomas, a sloe­eyed high school student who wants to be an actress, agreed. When it comes to the fashion mainstream, she prefers Tory Burch, Vera Wang “and Michael Kors, of course,” she said, but “I wouldn’t wear anything that is showing my butt, or a really low V­neck or anything.” Ms. Gomez was vigorously shepherding these young charges, though a broken right foot had deterred her own plans for a lap around the catwalk. “You need more lips! You need more lips!” she hollered at one colleen whose chin was trembling with anticipatory anxiety.

“Tell them to deepen your lips. You need to tell her to shine you up. Shine you up!” Working behind a curtain from her “graveyard,” a large box of pigments and unguents, was the hair and makeup coordinator of Christian Fashion Week, Neva Durham, a.k.a. Neva the Diva. Ms. Durham, of Lakeland, Fla., said that she had trained herself on YouTube and specialized in body­painting, but was focusing here on muted versions of cosmetics’ current greatest hits, assisted by about 15 people. “I have an eye to be able to create on demand with the gift that God has given me,” she said. “You can have a dramatic eye and not look like a drag queen, you know what I mean? You can have a smoky eye and look nice and elegant.” She was fixing the hair of a designer, Aleksandra Salo of Provo, Utah, who was preparing to send out a collection of carefully seamed sheaths and said with some disdain of the mainstream fashion industry: “We’re focusing so much on the woman’s body and less on who she is. If you look in the history, women of class, like Jackie O. — what kind of clothes did they wear?

All of it was modest, all of it was tailored.” Downstairs again, Ms. Gomez barked: “This will start on time. I am not the kind of person who will start a 7 o’clock show at 7:45 — oh hell no!” But first she led a short prayer session, asking God for the safety of everyone on the runway and for the audience to be open­minded about what constituted Christian fashion. When it came to the latter matter, Ms. Gomez would have her work cut out for her. “What does not appeal to me is this trend of less and less and less material for women’s clothing,” said Kim Albritton, an interior decorator from Lithia, Fla., who was sitting in the middle of the front row, as glamorous as Anna Wintour with her brunette bob, black­and­white jacket and coppery necklaces. “I have two daughters, and I cannot tell you how many times I said to them: ‘Absolutely not. You will not be getting booty shorts!’ ” Decrying “50 Shades of Grey” and the Kardashian circus, Mrs. Albritton said she teaches Bible study to high school girls and regularly lectures them on the shortness of their skirts.

“Those goodies that God gave you are supposed to be saved for your husband, so you need to put things away and leave some mystery in there,” she said. “I don’t care anything about seeing a woman with everything she has showing through her shirt on the runway. I don’t have any desire. That’s not fashion to me.” In fact, in the show’s finale, a model did come down the runway with her bra showing through her lace capelet. Mrs. Emerian, the blogger from Fresno, leaned over and said in a stage whisper, “How’s that for Christian fashion?” Not that she seemed too exercised about it. 1/19/2016 At Christian Fashion Week, Modesty Is One Policy ­ The New York Times

“Christians are being beheaded around the world, and people are debating yoga pants; it’s really upsetting,” she said. “I mean there are more important things we can be talking about.” 

Modesty is possible when nursing

By Sentinel & Enterprise

DEAR ANNIE: Am I out of the loop or just a prude? It bothers me to see a mother cradling her infant child, one latching off and on to mom’s exposed breast? This was the recent scene in the crowded men’s department of a popular store.

I am certainly in favor of nursing an infant, due to the enormous benefits to both the child and the mother. I nursed all three of my children. But this total exposure seems extreme. When in public, a scarf or a small lightweight blanket would be perfectly fine to cover the infant. I find the mother disrespectful of others and going too far in making her statement.

I’d love to hear other comments on this subject. — Wondering Mom

DEAR MOM: And you’ll get them, we assure you. We covered this topic a few years ago, and we heard plenty. Let us stipulate — we are in favor of nursing. We have no objection to women who nurse in public places. Our concern is the need some women have to expose their entire upper bodies while doing so. Why? There is no added benefit to the child if Mom is naked from the waist up, so we can only assume the mother is making a statement about public nudity, likes to flaunt her body or thinks modesty is old-fashioned. That is her choice, but there are lovely nursing tops and cover-ups that allow Mom to nurse comfortably anywhere and we recommend they be used.

 

 

Springfield Missouri Files Motion to Dismiss ‘Nipple’ Lawsuit from #FreeTheNipple

By Stephen Herzog

Citing a previous case, the city says such an ordinance is not for the purpose of discrimination, but rather to protect “the moral sensibilities of that substantial segment of society that still does not want to be exposed willy-nilly to public displays of various portions of their fellow citizens’ anatomies that traditionally in this society have been regarded as erogenous zones.”

Modesty: More Than a Change of Clothes

A Bible focused book on Modesty:The first part focuses on what modesty is and why it matters. (There’s an insightful chapter on how guys are different from girls, and, how girls should be mindful of those differences.) The second part focuses on what the Old Testament has to say on immodesty and modesty. The third part focuses on what the New Testament says about immodesty and modesty. The fourth and final section focuses on the practice of modesty, here is where the book turns practical.
You will be hard press to find books written on modesty. You will be even more hard press to find a book that talks not just about outward modesty, but also inward modesty.

FreetheExploitedDinnerTableDaughterRight now I think this is one of the best book out there on the topic of modesty. –Mary K. Mohler, Wife of R. Albert Mohler, Jr. Director of Seminary Wives Institute said, If young women are not taught the truth about the gospel reasons for modesty, they often form opinions and habits that are difficult to change. The study of this short book will provide a framework for thinking through this issue that does not involve legalistic checklists but does involve taking seriously what a huge responsibility young women have as they make clothing choices. Martha Peace has included many practical examples from her point of view. The addition of Kent’s perspective as a father is so helpful. It is refreshing to see this topic elevated to the importance that it deserves! May the Lord use it to convince, convict, and encourage.”

Martha Peace and Kent Keller teams up for this book. Each brings their perspective into the issue. Although this book is written primarily for ladies, Keller helps the ladies understand the struggles man faces with immodest dressing. This gives an idea to the ladies about how modesty matters to men who are striving to stay pure.

First the book drives at an important point, they want the readers to understand that modesty has to be an inward change and attitude. The heart needs to embrace modesty inside out before we move to talk about what or what not to wear. Next, Keller helps readers understand the difference between man and women. I appreciate how Keller bring out several examples which I felt was aptly and accurately described. I find myself nodding and agreeing to most of the points that were raised and wondered why no one has written as clearly as he has regarding this issue.

BeingWomanNext the authors examine the old and new testaments regarding the theology of clothing. One of the key teaching Peace and Keller examines is why clothes are even necessary in the first place. This bring us all the way back to Genesis, where God is the one who clothes us, God is the one who defines modesty for us. At the New testament section, Peace and Keller drives back to the central point of the modesty of the heart. As I read this book, I was very thankful the authors decided to go back to this point repeatedly. This is what will make the book useful and applicable despite the frequent fashion changes over time. No matter how fashion has changed, if the desire to be modest comes from the heart and guided by the teaching of the Bible, then it can be applied at any time.

In brief, the authors gives the gospel hope for those who might have been immodest. The authors direct the readers to Christ the Saviour who has bled and died for the immodest, to make them clean and modest.

I find this book very helpful to those who are motoring teenagers. The book is not very long with short chapters. Parents may also want to read this with their daughters to help ground them with a biblical understanding of modesty. Guys may not find this book as helpful as the girls, but pastors should give this book a read so they know what books to direct their youths to if they are interested to read up on this topic.

Banner2_edited-2_grandePeace and Keller begin the discussion by identifying the source of modesty rather than trying to treat the lack of modesty. They state, “Modesty is more than just a change of clothes. It is an attitude of the heart” (14). They go on to give this definition of modesty, “Modesty is an inner attitude of the heart motivated by a love for God that seeks his glory through purity and humility; it often reveals itself in words, actions, expressions, and clothes” (17). When we talk about modesty we need to speak as cardiologist rather than fashion police. Fashion that pleases the Lord will follow a heart that seeks to honor the Lord.
There are heart diagnostic questions scattered throughout the book. The lists on pages 19, 87, 88, and 107 are some of the best I have seen in excavating the intentions of the heart. Our intentions must first be exposed in order that the cure of the Gospel can be applied. Here is a sample, “Do you spend so much time getting your appearance ready for the day that you run out of time to get your heart ready?” (88). Diagnostic questions such as this force us to face the reality of our heart condition rather than living in denial or ignorance.
The authors are not bashful about using biblical terms as they talk about modesty. There is a summary list of scriptures and principles on page 130. Throughout the book I could not help but be jarred by the direct statements that Keller makes. Pastor Kent, as he is called throughout the book, is not worried about who wore what, and how they might get offended or think that he is singling them out; the issue is to important for that kind of stuff. Here is an example of what I mean, “We urge you, if you are convicted of the sin of immodesty, to do whatever it takes to repent for your good, for the purity of the church, and, ultimately for the glory of God!” (115). He just says what the Bible says, lets the Holy Spirit make the application to the heart, and encourages the reader to obey.
I have felt a strain with the youth in trying to figure out how to set parameters without it being seen as legalism. I do not want to foster the thought process that you can act a certain way at church but the same standards don’t apply in every area of life. This is particularly difficult in the area of modesty. Peace and Keller are helpful with the issue of consistency (127-129) and legalism throughout the book. They devote chapter nine to dealing with legalism. Legalism is a heart issue just like modesty. Keller state, “When the heart desires lustful attention, no amount of external rules will affect the heart. When the heart desires God, the heart will be modest and external rules will not be needed”(110). The answer to the heart issues is the gospel! We need Jesus to change the affections of the heart. Pastor Kent gives five ways be active in allowing Jesus to change your affections and pursue modesty.
• Pursue modesty by repenting of immodesty (135).
• Pursue modesty through a growing relationship with God (135).
• Pursue modesty by avoiding the influence of the world (136).
• Pursue modesty by developing wise friendships (137).
• Pursue modesty through a courageous delight in God (140).

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